Friday, July 27, 2012

Secondary Infertility is a Bitch

So  I know what you're thinking- at least you have a child. I'm not saying primary infertility isn't a bitch- but it's still just as hard when you want another baby and it just isn't happening. I love Makayla but I never wanted an only child. I have big plans. Four to be exact. Jeff and I have been trying for Number 2 for over a year now. Granted, Jeff was in Afghanistan for a good chunk of the year, but he was home for leave several times. I guess since was Makayla was a surprise baby, I figured it wouldn't be hard to get pregnant again. My body has other plans though.

My cycles have been irregular my whole life, it's one of the reasons we have Makayla. Over the past year it has gotten worse. I had a total of three periods the whole year. I went to the doctor who gave me 10 progesterone pills to jump start my body and it worked- once. When I went back she seemed totally uninterested in figuring out what is wrong with me so I took to diagnosing myself. I had her test my thyroid levels- they came back normal. I got the normal yearly workup- everything seemed fine. I gave up on even going to see her. I've recently come to the realization that I am an exact fit to the symptoms of PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome). I've made an appointment to see a new doctor to confirm but it doesn't really matter much. The "treatment" for PCOS is very limited. To regulate the cycles they prescribe birth control. Unless you want to get pregnant. Then you're basically shit out of luck. The treatment there is to lose weight (one of the symptoms of PCOS is unexplained weight gain) and hope your cycle returns when you lose it. Also, they will prescribe clomid to increase the possibility of ovulating. Some data indicates that women with PCOS are "insulin resistant" which means that the insulin in my body is less effective at lowing my blood sugar and leads to weight gain and makes it more difficult to lose weight.

Over the past two months I have been trying to lose weight by reducing my food intake and increasing my activity. I walked with Mom and Vanessa for about a month and lost zero pounds. I started biking and I've been busy building a fence in the sweltering heat and I've gained weight. So I got to thinking about back when I was in college and I went on the Atkins diet. Atkins was all about controlling your blood sugar levels throughout the day by not eating carbohydrates that are quickly broken down into simple sugars and cause blood sugar spikes. I lost a lot of weight on Atkins. So I decided this week, I was done with carbs. I've been feeling really great this week, never hungry and I've found loads of low carb recipes that make me feel like I'm not missing a thing. And I've lost 7 pounds. Now that may be water weight, but I didn't lose anything with the last two things I've tried so it's something.

It's time to take charge. I'm tired of feeling jealous of every woman I know who has announced a pregnancy (or birth) in the last year and a half. Yes, if you've been pregnant, I mean you. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for you and your babies are adorable. That doesn't stop me from being jealous that you have what I so badly want.