Screw Super Mom, I'd settle for Competent Mom

Before Liam was born, I felt like we had our shit mostly together. I worked, Jeff was in school and took care of Makayla during the day. The house was mostly clean, we did most of Makayla's school and extra curricular functions. I had time to keep up with my garden, the landscaping and do home improvement projects on a fairly regular basis. I got to work on my crafts in the evenings while I watched my shows. I was never perfect, but we managed pretty well.

It's been over two months since I went back to work after my maternity leave. I keep thinking that it's just THIS week that's so busy, next week will be better. That we just need time to get used to life with two kids. I mean how can it be SO different with two kids than with one? Liam is just about the best baby I could ask for. He's happy and healthy, sleeps for most of the night and takes good naps as well. He loves to play on his activity mat or jumper and doesn't usually demand constant attention. Makayla is spirited, demanding and challenging- but she's always been that way. She adores Liam to the point that it's irritating because she is constantly all over him. He doesn't seem to mind, but I mind when she wakes him up from napping because she needs to hug him or kiss him.

I keep doing things to save myself time. I started a 20 minute a day cleaning program so that I don't have to do it all on the weekend. I started freezer cooking all of our dinners to save time and money. And they do save me time, but I still have none. The more time I make, the more shit that I need to get done. I don't understand how I can't get the front of my house weeded and how the vegetable garden is choked with weeds. This summer has been incredibly stressful for us with all of Jeff's health issues. I don't think a week has gone by since Liam's birth that he hasn't had an appointment with at least one doctor. On top of the hemochromatosis and cirrhosis, they told us that he had lymphoma as well. Thankfully, this week the biopsy came back as a benign granuloma and NOT cancer. It seems like every other week they are giving me more news that has me preparing to be a widow with two small kids. Of course with all of these medical issues come medical bills. We were making it all right before but now we can't possibly keep up with everything. So of course hiring any help for anything is out of the question. I feel guilty asking my parents to watch the kids for things that we HAVE to do let alone just because I want to get away.

Makayla's school hasn't even started yet. I look at the calendar of all the extra fun activities and it makes me want to cry because it's just more stuff that I have to try to squeeze in to a schedule that is too full already.

Last night, when I was getting the kids ready for bed, Liam was fussier than usual because he's going through a growth spurt right now and he is always hungry. So I changed him and was getting ready to feed him and he just wouldn't latch on. For whatever reason he just kept taking my nipple in his mouth, sucking once and spitting it out. And I couldn't make him stop. And my milk wouldn't let down because he wouldn't nurse. So he sitting there wailing in to my boobs and I yelled at him to stop. I yelled at a 5 month old baby to stop crying. And of course he was scared and cried more and it escalated from there until Jeff came and took him and he instantly stopped crying. Which of course made me feel even worse. So Jeff calmed him down and tried to give him back to me but he took one look at me and started wailing again.

Worst.
Mom.
Ever.

It took another 10 minutes to calm him down enough to convince him to eat, which he finally did and then fell asleep.

I don't even know why I'm writing all of this. I don't have any answers and I can't think of a logical way to end this so I'll just leave this here.

WaterWipes USA- A Terrible Idea

UPDATE 8/14/14:

More than two years have passed since I originally wrote this. Apparently the company has become more prominent and still sells this awful product (and is now even MORE expensive). I went to their Facebook page this morning and saw multiple reports of moldy wipes.

Their Amazon reviews also show several reports of moldy wipes. Some people blame themselves for putting them in other containers and some people realize the truth- these wipes are NOT SAFE for babies! There is nothing to prevent this type of mold and bacterial growth. Steer clear!

Last night, I was harvesting my crops on FarmVille like always and I look to the right and there is this ad from WaterWipes USA. Basically their ad says 100% Chemical Free! As a chemist I was instantly annoyed.

The product is a baby wipe moistened with 99.9% water and 0.1% grapefruit seed extract. This is the link to their facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/WaterWipesUSA and their company website: http://www.dermah2o.com/ I was in a bit of a snarky mood so I went to their Facebook page and left a comment. "Dihydrogen Monoxide is still a chemical." These kind of claims always make me mad. EVERYTHING on this earth is made from chemicals. NOTHING is "chemical-free". Companies that make these claims are pandering to the ignorant and scientifically illiterate people who suffer from chemo-phobia.

Obviously I am a cosmetic/ personal care chemist, but I am also a mom. I had a natural, unmedicated birth but I would never even think of not having my child vaccinated. I breastfed but when I went back to work, Sarah gave her pumped milk in bottles made with BPA. I grow my own vegetables and can them myself too- but I use fertilizer and pesticides in my garden and on my fruit trees. Basically what I'm saying is this- look at the data, evaluate the source of the data and then determine whether you need to avoid chemical X or Y.

The biggest hype about this product is the worst of all- the fact that it is preservative free. The 0.1% GSE is SUPPOSED to be there as a preservative but as I have learned through research for work- GRAPEFRUIT SEED EXTRACT IS NOT A PRESERVATIVE!!! If you don't believe me look for yourself:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10399191
http://www.naturalingredient.org/Articles/Report0520.pdf

I'll summarize it here. There are no regulations for how GSE is manufactured. Most GSE has has been preserved by another preservative (i.e. parabens, benzethonium chloride, etc). When tested, the GSE samples in which no preservative can be detected show no anti microbial activity. In other words, if you leave a pack of these wipes open, and some mold spores float into the package, you will have created the perfect petri dish to grow that mold because there is NOTHING in here to prevent it. Since this product is for cleaning babies butts- a place where bacteria is plentiful- imagine if you were wiping up a big mess and some got on your fingers and you reached for another wipe. Now you have inoculated your package of wipes with fecal coloform bacteria- or E.Coli- where it will grow and multiply unchecked. Preservatives keep products from going rancid, and growing mold and bacteria. There is no data linking parabens to breast cancer or any other type of cancer. Check out the American Cancer Societies position on parabens: http://www.cancer.org/Cancer/CancerCauses/OtherCarcinogens/AtHome/antiperspirants-and-breast-cancer-risk basically, they say that there is really no connection between the two and that the study "linking" them was a poorly designed study.

If all of this isn't enough to convince you that this product is a terrible idea, the price for a pack of wipes is $4.99. $4.99 for a package of washcloths moistened with water. If you have a sensitive skinned baby, wet a washcloth in the sink and wipe your baby's butt with it. At least you can wash it out when you are done. There a lot of reasonable options for disposable baby wipes for babies with sensitive skin.
Pampers Sensitive Skin wipes do not have any alcohol, fragrance or dyes (the main contributors to skin sensitivity) but they are still well preserved.
Huggies Natural Care- fragrance free (all the same reasons as above)
BabyGanics Thick n Klean wipes a more expensive option but it does have an effective preservative, plus they claim a biodegradable status and have no parabens if you are still worried about that
Walgreens Comfort-Smooth Baby wipes with Aloe (unscented) almost the same product as BabyGanics except they make no claim about the biodegradability and they are half the price.

There are literally hundreds of valid options for gentle, disposable wipes that are also well preserved. I don't know about you but I would rather wipe my babys' butt with a well preserved wipe than mold. Hell, I would rather wipe her butt with just about anything besides these terrible wipes!