So as I sit here impatiently awaiting the arrival of #2 I find myself inundated with suggestions of ways to kick start this whole labor business. A little background, I was 14 days overdue with Makayla when my midwife insisted that I be induced for "reasons" (her biophysical profiles were all fine, they just didn't allow you to continue more than 2 weeks post dates). So spending all day being pumped full of pitocin and waiting for labor to get started I had a relatively easy and quick birth. Makayla was 10 lbs 4 oz much to everyone's surprise.
At 40 weeks +4 days, I am basically just sick of being pregnant. I can't sleep in the bed anymore because my hips are so painful so I'm sleeping in the recliner. My heartburn/ GERD has been horrible through 100% of this pregnancy and it only gets worse by the day. He's the squirmiest little fella you've ever seen. The midwife keeps reminding me to count kicks. It's supposed to be something like 12 kicks a day and when she asks, I'm just thinking "you mean 12 kicks an hour, right?" but I just say "Yeah, he moves around ALL THE TIME." Obviously, I'm huge and tired of being huge. The thing that has me the most on edge though is that I'm eating up my maternity leave every day that he's not born. I only get 6 weeks of paid short term disability leave and as the sole wage earner in our household, we can't really afford for me to take unpaid maternity leave through FMLA. So, in an effort to hurry him along, I have tried every single labor induction technique that I can find on the internets and I can only come to one conclusion; every single one of them is bunk. If there was any truth to them, they would work all of the time or at the very least, most of the time.
1) Eating spicy foods - I sprinkled my enchiladas with dried, ground habanero pepper flakes
2) Housework - I vacuumed my own house multiple times, vacuumed my parents house, made more trips up and down the stairs with laundry than I can count, and finished remodeling the nursery.
3) Castor Oil - Conveniently, we use much castor oil at work so I flavored and sweetened a batch to make it less disgusting. Didn't do anything except cleanse my bowels.
4) Black and Blue Cohosh tinctures - My mom swears that this is the only reason that I came out when I did (just before her midwife left on vacation). Hasn't done a darn thing for me. She says "I must be doing it wrong"
5) Pineapple, mango, evening primrose oil, etc - Supposedly ripen the cervix. Mine was already good to go so I can't say it did anything. Tasty though.
6) Sex - While pleasant, not at all helpful.
7) Nipple Stimulation - both manually and with my breast pump. Got a few contractions but likely a coincidence because I get contractions randomly most of the day.
8) Walking - Besides the grocery shopping and other errands on the schedule, I've walked miles around the Metroparks. Still pregnant.
9) Warm baths/ meditation/ relaxation - again, pleasant, not doing anything.
10) Stripping the membranes - my midwife did this for me, had no effect.
At this point, people tell you it's because "you're body isn't ready to be induced". I call BS on that too. If natural labor induction was possible (outside coincidentally going into labor after eating Mexican food) it would work all or at least most of the time. So if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go back down to the cellar and finish vacuuming and scrubbing while you magical unicorns spontaneously go into labor on your due dates.
